so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
