i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
