I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
