My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize