beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize