I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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