Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
