Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
