You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize