pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
