I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
