I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this boner is exhausting
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
