I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
