you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
