U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
