I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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