If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
