And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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