i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
nutella sex= disaster
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
