If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
