Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
