going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My dick has a subreddit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
