Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
