I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
