Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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