yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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