Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
