Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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