I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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