woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
