how can u be prego again
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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