Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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