Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
