a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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