I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
