I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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