My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I need a beard to bite.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize