you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
