oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
