We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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