So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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