Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
