Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
