Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
