whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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