I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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