Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
