i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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