Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
