I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
