the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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