dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
