I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this will be a night to untag.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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