I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize