very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
