I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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