I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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