i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
