she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
