I wish my penis had an off switch
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
vagina is talking i cant
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
