In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
