wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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