Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize