I didn't shave. On purpose
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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