Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
